You have guests coming into town soon. They have an agenda.
“Please”, they fairly scream down the phone, “before we leave Arreegawn to come back home, please take us to eat at some of those wonderful food carts you have! We hear so much about those! Unless it's raining, we don't like to be wet when we're eating, except if maybe you have some umbrellas?”
You explain patiently that shipping umbrellas into Oregon is prohibitively expensive and that most people just can't afford the $4000 price tag for one, but there are usually awnings and bumbershoot-protected tables – or the awnings of nearby businesses if you don't mind the occasional spate of fisticuffs. Also, you remind them, it's August and almost no chance for rain although there's a higher probability that they'll encounter the pale, dessicated husks of citizens lying in the streets, the poor buggers having been caught out in direct sunlight. Still, with the proper precautions there's no reason why a day touring the food stands can't be had.
"Salad roll? What the Hell is a salad roll?"
Satisfied, they ring off, and as you pocket your phone you ponder the coming week's itinerary. Where in the city is best to take them on their gustatory gallivant? You have yourself sampled far from all, or even a tenth, of the fare to be found curbside in the city. There's the lip-smacking adventure of Good Food Here on Belmont, many delectable tidbits to be had at that pod! Only a short stumble down the walk to Pied Cow for brewskis and coffees too. Hmm.
Oh, but can't forget Cartlandia! That's a thought, rent a couple of bikes for your guests and show them the splendid Springwater Corridor Trail. Ah, but do they ride? Can they ride? You recall them being rather clumsy. Still, file it as a possibility.
Downtown? Well, they are country mice, but they may appreciate seeing the hustle-bustle (well, for “Arreegawn” anyway) of the Big City. Show them the Central Library, Pioneer Courthouse Square, the Portland Art Museum. If you blink too slowly you'll trip over cart after cart after cart down there, too. It's a plethora, El Guapo!
Tsk. How to decide?
Aha! Consult the Oracle, wag your fingers over the sacred tablet and...Food Carts Portland! The majickelectric boon to every food cart-loving soul. Info! Maps! TOURS! Zut alors!
All set. And then Wednesday show them our volcano and some roller derby.